Hi Ari and Eagle, thanks for responding on this topic. I'm learning to live with "good enough." The need to be perfect can indeed be deadly, as in the case of anorexia and bulemia, when our young women are striving and starving to be what the media portrays as perfectly good-looking women. The same with the boys, as in the case of your student with big ears. It sounds like you won't give up on him if you see potential. As for teaching, how can one ever be perfect what with all the bureaucracy crap that is thrown upon teachers, such as budget cuts. Ari, I don't believe you were "sorely lacking" in the relationsip; I believe the relationship and that man failed you. "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." (Somerset Maughn) Love never fails; his ego was faulty from the start, and you suffered the consequences. Eagle, I like the way you phrased this: "relax against my humanity." I am learning that too: it has been a huge revelation and revolution to relax the perfectionistic standards that are unachievable, and to enjoy the imperfect process we call life. Love and Light, Lynn