Lynn, Forgiving oneself is such a crucial piece of the puzzle. For some unfathomable reason, even when terrible things are being done TO us as children, we tend to internalize it to our own detriment, as if everything that is being done TO us is our fault. It's not the truth, but it's what we believe to be the truth. Somewhere along the way, it begins to dawn on us that we were only children and had no control over what others did to us, and yet those feelings of guilt, shame, fault and worthlessness persist.

It might seem far-fetched, and even counter-productive to consider forgiving ourselves for things we had no say in, for actions we had no control over. But it seems to be such a crucial piece of the healing process. Forgiveness becomes a (the?) way to empower ourselves to move out of the prison of lies that made us think we were too unworthy to become anything of value.

The refusal to forgive actually gives the power to others, perpetuating the lack of control over our own emotions, thereby crippling US, not the person(s) we refuse to forgive. It's only by taking back that power by deliberately choosing to forgive that we're able to move onward and upward into whoever and wherever we now freely choose to become.