My husband was verbally abusive from the start -- nag, nag, nag, insult after insult -- just like Mom did, but since I was so used to it, it kinda rolled off my back for years. I just tuned it out. Then we'd get into the scream fests.

As of just a few years ago, I had to learn to physically walk out of the room or the house, sometimes for days at a time, when he started screaming. Walking away is 20x more difficult for me than fighting back. Fighting is so easy. He started the fights as his way of getting attention, so my leaving him alone was the best thing I could've done.

I also started a "verbal abuse chart." I'd mark off his verbal abuses on the calendar. I told him when he got to 100, it was divorce. Absolutely, unequivocably, no looking back. He got up to 20 pretty fast, but when he realized how serious I was, most of it stopped. It's been 4 or 5 months since I've added any marks.

We don't fight much any more. We don't do much of anything really. But it's much less stressful.