In the second paragraph, the reader learns about the main character: that the gender is female (bra) and that she engages in risky behavior (drinking and driving.) The editor of the first draft told me that it took too long for the reader to determine gender. She asked, “How can you introduce your gender?” and I came up with the bra. The reader also learns that the narrator takes risks with her health by smoking, even with a cold. Yet, she is afraid to risk being in the weather elements, thus setting the stage for a complicated character. Otherwise, the story is being told exactly as it happened, without much self-censor. I also like contrast, such as “warm currents” yet “shivering.” An editor told me not to put the same word, such as “warm” so close together, but I developed a style of using the same word in different ways just because I like words and all their various meanings.

***I sipped from the Michelob that rested between my legs, and then lit a cigarette. The cough of a nasty cold rattled my chest. As I passed gas stations and convenience stores, I could not decide whether or not to fill the empty gas tank. It was too dark to stop, too cold to get out, too wet to pump. My T-shirt and bra were soaked through to my skin, and the denim jacket and jeans provided no warmth. The heater vents blew warm currents of air, but I still shivered.***