Bluebird,
I know you have very deep convictions about marriage vows but you seem so miserable on every one of the treads here about your marriage. The vows are love, honor and cherish- they aren't being miserable. Honestly there comes a time to either get out . No one else can do that for you- no one can make it better no matter how they try.
This is your decision and if you choose to stay it's time to quietly accept it.