I want to hear what everyone thought of Lee because I was that poor pathetic "gotta have a baby" woman for 4 years. Well, maybe only pathetic for 3 of those years.

My hubby and I went through the whole infertility thing many years ago. Is it me, is it him, what if it's me, what if it's him, my period is late, my boobs are sore, I feel this, I feel that, this doctor, that specialist, this test, that invasion, friends and a sister getting pregnant 3 times while I couldn't MAKE 1, baby showers, births and little ole me with nothing in the oven! Beg and plead with the Lord...I swear if I get pregnant I'll never miss a Sunday! Too much stress, change jobs, trying too hard, not trying on the right days, basal themometers, basal charts, husband insemination, period late again, damn, get the period, another month/year, not pregnant...throw in the towel. Doctor upset, not finished with us, nothing wrong...who cares! Not doing this anymore! If the Lord wants us to have a baby, I'll get pregnant. Call the adoption agency, forget the making a baby thing...my baby will be here within the year...for SURE! Get psyched, get the baby room ready, OUR BABY BOY arrives from Korea in 9 months...thank you! Gotta have a sibling from the same country. Back to agency, file again, while waiting for our little baby girl to arrive, get Pregnant, anxiously call the social worker and make her promise that with the news I am about to deliver we will still be able to have our baby girl. She says, "YES!" WE are thrilled, tell no one, OUR BABY GIRL arrives at airport, month or so later, spill the beans that I am pregnant, couple months later, OUR BABY BOY arrives at hospital.

There you have it. I could totally relate to Lee and her obsession! Would have been great if I could have read this way back when!

Can't finish without telling you that it was during that infertility time with a couple other hard lessons (friend commiting suicide and health issues) that we truly stumbled upon our faith again. I had been raised Catholic and did the whole Catholic school/church thing growing up. Fell away from the church. Didn't even want to get married in a church (makes me sick to think about it now). Wanted the outside wedding, the whole bit!

But God had something else in mind when I figured out I wasn't the one in charge of this life afterall. Though it was a very pathetic time in my life, the Lord picked me up and put me on the road with Him and I will never leave His path again. For it is through Him that I find my peace, strength, and contentment!

How about you women? Any of you totally relate to one of the women in particular, and why?

[ September 14, 2003, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]