Yes, it's especially hard when we have to spend time with workplace "drainers" since we share their space for such concentrated periods of time. But it might be helpful to see your boss as an opportunity to create clearer boundaries around yourself.

"Drainers" drain less when we give them less feedback. It's helpful to build an "energy wall" around ourselves--to pray for emotional and spiritual protection, to imagine a wall around ourselves (line it with imaginary rose-buds; when someone steps over the line, see yourself offering one of your roses--but don't give away your own energy).

I once resolved that I wouldn't get hooked into any negative comments or take on any problems that weren't my own with a particular co-worker. It was hard! I realized I was wanting connection with her, so I kept responding by trying to please--or joining her in complaining in an effort to be empathic. Once I realized my own negativity was draining me, and continually asked myself, "Is this my problem?" she got less effective in draining me, and eventually found another prey.

But sometimes office drainers get to us. The best option then is to transfer to another department or find another job. (Easy enough to say when the economy is good, or when we're younger. I realize this can be a problem in itself.)

I'm wondering about other kinds of drainers. Family members can be the worst, since we genuinely love them, and we want to be of help and support. Anyone else have thoughts about how to deal with energy drainers? (One of my clients once called them "feeders." It's a pretty good word, since they're often hungry for something we can't possibly give them. . )