No, Lynn, not speechless--just deeply respectful of your circumstances. Ironically, my delay in responding is because it's so easy for me these days to get totally caught up in the cycle of dealing with my mother and my family. Like many situations, there is nothing really to do. I'm a relatively minor player here--no power to make decisions, no freedom to do much except hover and worry. It's a silly thing to do--it doesn't serve anything or anyone-- keeps me in old family patterns that I thought I'd relinquished a long time ago. Humbling!

Facing a rocky menopause can be a major ordeal. The hormonal fluctuations, physical pain, uncertainty, and simple nuisance of endless menstrual bleeding is big enough to handle. Add that to a husband who is facing a significant health challenge, your own anxiety about the emotional and financial future, and a little one who continues to need you and can't possibly understand what's happening--Goodness! I hope you're getting lots of support from friends and healers and loved ones. I hope people are bringing you meals and offering babysitting services. I hope you are paying special attention to your own health, too.

I'd encourage you to take your own care just as seriously as you take your husband's and your daughter's. Easy for me to say, especially since you are working full time. But consider any time you spend in self-restorative efforts--walking, massage, yoga, acupuncture, meditation, or any other ways you have of cherishing yourself--to be money saved in your energy bank. Your family will be blessed, and you'll be strengthened to meet whatever each day brings.

If you can begin the day in whatever way you pray, do that, too. Some days you may find only the energy to light a candle. Others, you might take a cup of coffee into a special space in your house that feels peaceful and comforting. Sip the coffee (or tea), allowing yourself to be aware of God's simple companionship. Then thank Him for the grace to meet him there. Do a reading or say prayers or write in your journal. (I like the suggestion of a "gratitude journal," listing 5 things for which you are grateful. You'll be surprised at how the list strengthens you and shapes your perceptions). Do it in a spirit of rest and renewal and curiosity about how God might make His presence known to you this day.

My prayers go with you, Lynn. I'm glad you've joined this forum.