hotflashgal, I think you should go and put your best self forward! Although no longer a step parent, I know how the ex-wife can attemtp to sway others. I learned that if the ex-wife and her family saw me avoiding a situation simply because it is uncomfortable, they would feed on my emotions and reluctance. Thus, when visiting the step-son in NM (baseball games and other activities), I would simply smile and march forward. Also, at weddings when I feel uncomfortable, I simply eat! This way I don't have to talk to anyone and if so, it would be about the food! Oh, these are wonderful strawberries, I simply cannot help myself! or, I just love cooked baby carrots! This way others will do the talking and I just simply nod and smile, giving a positive acknowledgment. I hope all goes well for you!