Hi everyone,
My life is too complicated for me to handle. I keep slipping up. I drink too much to drown the pain then get in trouble for drinking with the very people who are responsible for the pain. They don't like it when the enabler has a problem and isn't as strong as they would like. They can't lean on you anymore. People keep telling me to think of myself for once in my life, but I don't really know how to think of me. I keep saying that when this one's problem is resolved or that one's problem is resolved, then I can think about what I need and what would make me happy in this life.
I haven't felt powerful for a very long time and now my daughter who is going for sentencing on Friday the 13th had a bad pap smear and won't go for a biopsy. I'm so afraid of losing her and have been since she was 13. I just lost my husband from a massive heart attack on April 5th 2004 and remarried this asshole, now I live in fear of losing my daughter also. How do I find my way out of this tragic maze??? I have my three year old grandaughter with me and I want to do right by her. She is so precious and beautiful. I want a normal life for her and a routine. Life seems to be so tragic. How do I find my way back?