I'm so happy to have found this site. Thanks to all of you for your input. When I read what I wrote in a public forum like this, I realize that I sound like a total wimp for even trying to make this work.
I think I've lost my self respect and have accepted a role as servant or underling. Last night I went with my daughter to work out in a town nearby. My husband threw a fit saying, "There is so much to do around here and you want to go and work out!" "Sure, leave me hurting and working, that's my workout." "You go on the the gym with your daughter though"
I DID and enjoyed every minute of it, furthermore, after the gym my daughter, grandaughter and I went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. I worried and fretted the whole time we were eating out only to discover when I talked to him on the phone that he had left his "chores" and gone to the bar shortly after we left.
He was already about 3 sheets by the time I got home. I can't live like this anymore, in fear and anxiety and wondering from one day to the next if I'm even going to have a home or a husband or a job or be yelled at or doors slammed or things broken.
Once he put me in a hammer lock and forced me to ride in a vehicle with a drunk driver. Other people saw and heard him. When we got home he chased me throuogh the house and tried to kick the bathroom door in. The hole is still there.
He threw a metal beer bottle at me several times trying to hit me with it and broke his own eye glasses and several of our dinner glasses all over the floor and I had to clean it up.
Maybe his daughter would be good for him or someone from Russia.....
Anyway thank all of you so much and God bless you.