ok, I spoke with DH about it. And I mentioned this to his son:

"Ya know, Dad and I have been married nearly 10 years and we have never had you guys here for Christmas. I feel it's my fault for never officially inviting you". He says, "Well, our family was never 'like that'".

Hindsight: I wish I would have said "Yeah, but we CAN be that way".

I went on to tell him that I want him to know that this is his home as well. That we would LOVE to have our children here for Christmas just once!

DH says that we can "try" this with his daughter,but he thinks it won't work. The "MOM" is literally addicted to her kids and has pretty much control over them.

So, we'll see what happens.

in the meantime, I'm going to take someones advice and decorate for Christmas before DSD and her DH get here next week and WE will have Christmas in addition to our own little baby shower.