My husband's son (25 yrs old) (I'll call him G) borrowed my husband and my new kubota tractor and really abused it and did some damage. I've known G for almost 2 years and thought we had a pretty good relationship. He's come to me on several occasions asking my advice on things and talking about his troubled marriage. His dad and I have been married for almost 3 months and we're both in our 50's. G was told by his dad that the tractor is not leaving our property again because of the damage it received by him. When he came to pick up the trailer it was on I gave him a piece of paper with the price of the damage and he got really pissed at me saying it was "just a tractor" and damage is expected. I pointed out to him that the hood was crushed in, the hydraulic lines were bent and the bucket was out of alignment and bent...those aren't normal. To make a long story short, he's decided I am to keep out of his business with his dad and he has told my husband (his father) that he'd prefer if I did not interfere in this matter. He and his father decided that he'd do some work on the place to repay the damage as he's young and not able to pay. I would have been okay with this but I was not included in the discussion with my husband about the final decision and thus our first argument ever ensued because of it. My husband said he was wrong and should have not decided anything until he and I had talked about it. It just make G think now that I need to butt out even more.
I've worked hard in 2 years to build a good relationship with all his kids (there are 3). I was a step child and a prior step mom and so I know how hard it can be.
My husband is upset that G and his wife would attack me so badly after all I've done for them and my would is very deep at the moment and do not care to be around them. We have decided that G's borrowing card has been cancelled (he likes to borrow things and not return them until we ask for them or go over and get them). We should have been smarter about the tractor considering his track record.
I'm pretty hurt by this and feel resentful. Not sure what to do next.