As my (step)daughter's graduation day approaches (Sat), I find that I am becoming increasingly more anxious about being in the same place at the same time with her mom.

The mom's nerve is amazing as she without fail makes some of the most rudest, hateful and hurtful comments about my husband and myself. (and has even brought in our other children in her criticisms.)

Although, I understand the unrest of her heart and from a logical standpoint can understand why she would be motivated to dish out nastiness based upon the life she has lived to date....this understanding doesn't help the issue when her words hit my heart and mind like a ton of bricks.

At times like this I am notariously silent. I will defend my family, but will not say much else back. Knowing that whatever I could say, would fall on deaf ears, because she does not care to see others as humans with feelings. She actual desires to be vicious and scornful, and has no remorse. Later, though, I wish that I could have said SOMETHING, more than "I really wish that you could learn to be nice." "It is really sad that you cannot behave better."

I know it isn't right to begin to criticize her for her faults. That is so against who I am as a person. But I have a very difficult time working with her in the areas and ways I normally work with people - which is to focus on the positive and praise.

I am a praying woman and have been definitely praying and the only things coming back are three things - memories of my Great Grandmother, a wonderful of faith southern values woman - who always had kind words for everyone - telling me when I was about 4 or 5 "child, if you can't say anything good about someone, then don't ever say anything about them at all." The song by Alabama "Song of the South" especially the phrase "hush my mouth". and then several scripture verses about God fighting my battles.

I guess that beats the answer of "Words as weapons at High Noon." lol

I feel like I am going to be a piece of fresh meat tossed to a lion tomorrow...knowing that I have you gals getting my back and thinking/praying about me will definitely help.

Any advice is definitely welcome. I am just not sure I have ever seen a situation that worked where a person tried to reason with someone unreasonable at it had good results.

I think I need to just realize that this battle is not mine...what do you all think?