Lynn, anytime you're a stepmother of an adult spoiled brat, you are gonna be the evil stepmunster no matter what! I am too and I have been good to my two stepsons...well...I used to be but now, I don't see them anymore and when they call our house, they call their dad's cell phone so they won't have to talk to me. Tell you what, doesn't bother me one bit. Who wants to talk to someone who doesn't respect you simply because you married their father.

I've learned a valuable lesson in the last year in regards to this stuff. State what you think the daughter is doing to your husband and then, back away and let him see it for himself. I nagged, cried, begged, yelled, yadda, and nothing did any good until I just stated my position and then, would never bring up the stepsons name in conversation and if my husband brought it up, I grew silent. He finally saw that he was indeed Dr. Frankenstein and had created a monster. Now, he's working on changing it.

Just love your husband and concentrate on your little family. Someone stated that he needs to feel his daughter's love right now and that's true so if possible, I'd just step aside and outside of their relationship and wait. Just love your husband to death to make up for what the daughter does. I wish you luck and know how you feel.