I'm listening in on this conversation. Ari, congratulations on your epiphany! It's wonderful when revelations came come from grief because then it becomes growth! I recall that men were intimidated by intelligence, yet I was always so stupid as to pick these men! I recall long nights of lonliness, yet the desire for solitude. The lonliness was not so much for a man or a friend, but for my SELF. I was lonely for my own self. Where was I? Once I started to spend more time with my spirit, I became less likely to seek companionship with others. We are so complex! When I met my husband, I told him I'd been married before, and I would never get married again. Famous last words: We have been married since 1988. Many women are married and lonely, and a man can't always fill that lonliness. Nor would I expect him to. Love and Light, Lynn