Adriane, I too, have been in similiar relationships and understand your situation. Presently, I'm working on getting over a "shadow" relationship b/c I don't want to fall into this type of behavior again -- it is to painful. I shall forgoe explaining the situation (which has mirrored other relationships) as it only rehashes the pain.

Thus, I've resigned to streamline my life, get rid of that which I no longer need (whether it be a relationship, attitude, or object), put more emphasis into my career, and concentrate on myself (spiritually, health and mental attitude), and sherish my animals (I'm 39 and have no children). Easier said than done, huh! But, I am worthwhile, regardless of what another thinks.