Adrian,

I really admire your courage and candor for posting the details of your situation. You're not alone. Many other women go through varying degrees of what you're experiencing. I will certainly root for you to break free from this man who is hurting you, but I would never, never judge you for going back. In fact, I can relate!

I have my own obsession going on with a man who does not want to be involved with me. I know that he's not right for me and what's worse -- he is definitely not into me, interested in me, polite to me, or even contacting me anymore! But I still want him. I don't want him because he hurts me. I want what we had originally when he was so nice and responsive. But that is long gone.

That is my issue. Whenever I think of this guy, who I will call AJ, I remember the fun we had together hanging out last year. (I never went out with this man. I wanted to but he just wanted to be friends.) I keep thinking that that is the real AJ and that somewhere deep down, that nice Guy AJ will resurface. But guess what? It's not going to happen!

He's changed and maybe he never was that nice to begin with. Right now, I'm trying not to contact him because it just humiliates me when he doesn't respond. I had dinner with a friend a couple of days ago and told her that I had just sent him an e-mail. I told her the story like it was the end of the world, and she just shook her head and said, "So? Who is he in the scheme of things?"

I love that woman! She always makes me feel better. He's nobody in the scheme of things and I don't need to beat myself up if I slip and contact him. My goal is NOT to contact him but if I do screw up, I'm only human.

Sending you love and the strength to break this off. Sigrid