Ariadne, I was thinking that maybe more than grieving over this man, you are sad about the hope you had that didn't happen. The dream. The white fence around the perfect home.

When I left my abuser, I knew I couldn't possibly love a man who did the things he did so I had to go deep and ask what it was that I was crying over. It was saying good bye to the dream, not good bye to him. It was also the realization that I was embarrassed to have had such a short marriage to him and didn't want people to know what an idiot I had been for marrying him.

You invested a lot of energy and effort for this man. That would upset me too. You gave him a small piece of your soul. He took it, used it and threw it away. That is his issue. You worked with the knowledge that you had at that time. It's as simple as that. Now...you know differently and can protect your precious heart next time.