On the matter of the guitar, I do not have his mailing address...and I will NOT email him requesting it...That would just look like I seek more communication with him. If he emails or calls suggesting the matter of the guitar, I can then get his address...or leave it out by the trashcans, and has been suggested!

On the matter of answering emails or phone calls, I am loathe to do that also, knowing how skillful he is at communication and how I seem to "come around" to his way of thinking. I recognized early on that I was "obsessing" about this man, and knew my reactions were unhealthy. Hearing him say he was not "in love" with me left me a weeping lump for a whole weekend. I haven't done that ever, EVER, in I don't know when, and at my age, 54, it takes a great toll.


As the book "NOT INTO YOU" says, if he makes you feel bad about yourself (and I have felt seriously flawed in all of this), if he disappoints you, or , even worse, makes you CRY!!!, then that is really bad. I think the wisest thing to do now is "cut him off" completely as the book also says.

At the same time, I am dealing with intense "withdrawal" from this man, who had become an "addiction" to me...I admit it! Perhaps it is like Smile says, but not because of a mourning of my marriage, but because of my extended time alone, and feeling I was better off alone and would never, ever meet another man to whom I was attracted, especially at my age. I have always felt there is nothing more "pitiful" than an over-50 woman making a fool of herself, and that is what I feel I have done.

ARI