Okay, here's my story...After three years of consciously deciding not to date..period, after a disastrous relationgship with a Narcissist, I finally felt recovered enough to put myself "out there." I teach middle school art and live in a small town so the opportunities for meeting men are nil. I put my profile on Yahoo Personals and this one man responded who interested me. He has a Ph.D. in Psychology, an engineering degree, and is an accomplished musician with a music studio in his house. I was "smitten" from the start. By the second date, we had become sexual, and this is after three years of my having nary a "sexual" thought, abstaining from all contact with men. We have had only 4 or 5 "dares," during a brief 2 month period. He lives 2 hours from me, so the time together was precious to me. Here is how it evolved: At first, I was hearing "endearment," like calling me "cutiepie" and "sweetheart." As time progressed, however, that ceased, my emails went unanswered, and I was never sure if or when he would call. My anxiety began to develop. I don't seem to be able to separate the sexual from the emotional and told him this. His responses have been very "clinical" in nature, like, asking me "Are you afraid of having your heart broken?" to which I answered, "Well, YES!!!" He has never given me the comfort or reassurance I need. His emails have stopped entirely, and this has been hurtful. Our phone conversations seem to evolve around the sexual, and I find myself agreeing to it! I haven't seen him now for three weeks, but our last visit involved me driving to HIS location thru a snowstorm, since he didn't want to drive his BMW in it, and his truck was a "gashog." I so wanted to see him, that I braved the drive, passing a terrible wreck with bodies strewn out on the Interstate median. On the Sunday morning of our last intimate weekend together, I got up to leave, and there had been a heavy snowstorm the night before. He remained in his gym shorts and tee shirt, playing games on his computer, while I went out and cleaned the snow off my car. When I arrived home safely, I emailed him that I was home....No reply. I also had told my mother that morning, during a phone call, that I was seeing someone. She is elderly and worries about me, and I emaile him about that also...No reply. No phone call either.

His nonresponse and apparent indifference created a lot of anxiety in me, since I felt I was falling in love with him. I told him all of this, and his response, via email, was that he was not "in love" with me. I was a crying lump for that whole weekend. During one phone call from him, I couldn't even talk for crying.

As a result of all of this, we have refrained from seeing each other now for 3 weeks. We have talked on the phone with the agreement to continue seeing each other, but I sent him an upbeat email mid last week to which he didn't respond. After a couple of days, I became angry at this!

During our sexual times together, which we both enjoyed physically, and I have been unable to reach a sexual climax for almost 15 year, but did with HIM!!, there have been no loving endearments coming from him, and my comments to him, like "You're precious," have been met with silence.

My last email, of mid last week, in which I was upbeat and positve, also went unanswered, which created more anxiety, resulting in my sending him an email entitled "Casting pearls before swine," and the only text being, "What gives?"

I have felt that my anxiety drove him away, but at the same time I think HE created it!

Your thoughts...Let me have it!!!
A