Hmmm, I think we gotten off course here. I am not looking. I agree, Smile, that it's their job 'hunt'and certainly I would not be so bold as to pursue one (old fashion tendancies). NOT HAUNT either, LOL.

Anyhow, when I named all of those volunteer places, I was just being silly as it pertained to 'looking' for a man. These were already in my plan from earlier this summer. I do believe that location is wise 'if' I were interested in 'seeking male companionship' since of course we can find or be found by creeps and rejects anywhere. I can at least place myself where the type that are attractive to me will be, maybe. Not just at volunteer places either. Simply getting out more. The problem is deeper seeded here than meets the eye on getting out but that's yet another topic.

I was asked/invited to guide the tour back before I stopped working earlier this year. Since I love the setting, purpose of this historical museum and idea of getting out and about with like people, I've accepted. Another reason; to keep my idle mind focused and I love the look on children's faces when their little mind's have been provoked/trained. Of course they'll be adult 'classes' of folk that I'll love intriguing as well, but for now, just to contribute.

My original post was about me figuring out 'me' in the process of 'dating'...how I've been categorizing men in my life based on childhood experiences. I was searching for ways to break that catestrophic behavior/thought process.

While it weeds out the 'free-loader' type of men, it still 'probably' lends them the view of a gold digger type of a woman. So, in trying to understand 'why' I feel that they should provide 'things' for me, I figured out the origin of this sad reality:

My abusers used to 'give' me things I guess to shut me up or condition me. Not too sure about that theory but, I think it's pretty close. So, if a man doesn't give me 'things' I tend to think that he's trying to get 'something' for nothing or worse, simply use and abuse me when that 'may not' be the case. They may simply be trying to understand where it is I'm coming from too. Who knows.

Sheree

[ September 20, 2004, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]