Let's get this straight. "Protruding prizes" do not equal love.

You do need some time off, my dear! I have a dear friend I went to lunch with today. She is divorced and a wonderful, very horny person....bad combo. She really feels that she needs at least a year off from men to just find out who she is. She married very young and never had an opportunity to discover who she is. It is really hard for her because she is a very sexual person. I was telling her about my new nighties, etc. I had purchased (sexy ones) and she said, "please! Don't even tell me right now! I can't handle it" She wants to concentrate on her relationship with God and find out who she is and what hobbies she likes, etc.
You need a break and a constructive hobby. And you, like my friend Gwen, need to discover who you really are without the distraction of a man hovering around and taking the edge off of what you NEED to feel and discover. Sometimes feelings of loneliness, pain, frustration, etc. illuminate areas we need healing in. Let the emotions surface and deal with each area as they come up. It may take a while, but you will be glad you did. And, Sugaree, listen to your kids about going back to church. Find out what God's word says about stuff, spend time in God's presence. Let Him heal you up.