Sugaree, my two cents...if this should be in the mental illness forum it would be for his sake, not yours.

Please don't see him again. If someone loved you so much they wouldn't continually hurt you the way he has. You my dear have done EVERYTHING imaginable to change this man and he can only live with temporary change until he slips baack to his old ways.

You deserve better. Please work at moving on.

I hope this doesn't sound too strong but you've put your heart and soul in this guy and it isn't staying with him until he's in need of your loving, caring, compassionate ways AGAIN!

I'm sorry you are so lonely. What are you doing to fill that loneliness. Maybe we can help you out there...give you some suggestions on how to go about it...