Thanks DonnaJ, I needed that article as proof that us single women are dealing with the same issues.

I borrowed this section from: http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/004/6.42.html Author: Camerin Courtney

[“A guy friend recently told me I was too independent, a quality off-putting to men, who, according to him, like to be needed. The I-am-woman-hear-me-roar side of me bristled a bit at this revelation. "Isn't neediness bad, too?" I questioned.”]

Almost six months ago to date, I was actively dating a man that I’d dated many years ago when I believed my marriage was completely over. I had major baggage and he was just too immature at the time. Our paths crossed again. The sparks were so sweet. We rekindled the little we had, but with more experiences under our belts.

I was crushed when I found out that he was also dating someone else. Since we’d been friends before our ungodly affair, I was able to ask him what it was about this woman that he liked versus the relationship with a woman like me. I figured it this way. I was independent, had the material things and educated…the list of things I believed ‘should have made me more attractive than the woman that had nothing in comparison.

His answer was brutal, although I don’t believe that he was trying to be. He simply said, “She needs me. You have everything already and know those things” Was he looking for a daughter is what I wondered as he confessed. Of course I asked him to elucidate. I cringed with hurt and confusion as he stated the many ways that she needed him. He said that he had to teach her how to shop, and cook and clean and drive since she didn’t know how. Her ‘needy’ list went on and on.

I was too proud to tell him that I needed him too. I was too proud to tell him how safe I felt when he stayed the night or how much he relieved my pain and loneliness. I don’t think that was the kind of ‘neediness’ he was looking for either. I had no choice but to be independent. I was grown, divorced with two small children.

On the religious side of this short-lived relationship, he studied Islam. Since I have a friend that is deep into this, I could converse with him. I never knocked his faith nor did I attempt to impose my own. For those that have read the article, you know what I mean when I say this; it was just good that he even believed in God considering how difficult it is to find a man that is Godly.

Sugaree