Oh Ladies, things are definitely different depending on location! My daughter got married 13 months ago. We live in New York, just 30 miles north of NYC. We gave a large sum of money and the grooms parents gave the same. They had what would be a small wedding to some, only 110 people in a beautiful catering hall overlooking the Hudson. Alcohol is ALWAYS included. No one EVER, EVER pays for their own drinks. Guests would still be talking about the hosts a year later if that were the case. I paid for the elaborate bridal shower, which doesn't always happen. I felt the girls in the wedding just couldn't afford the expense. They were all on very fixed budgets. I also paid for my daughter's bridal gown which was also a very large expense. The groom's family felt that they gave enough in a lump sum to cover the rehearsal dinner...and I fully agreed. Many couples today wait until they are in their late 20's and early 30's to get married. They are often set in their careers and bringing in a decent income so there is no reason they can't chip in as well. The incidentals for weddings is astounding. No wonder it takes nearly a year to plan it. I have one down, and one more to go! I hope she gives me some time to recoup and save more!