I married too young, so I am giving COMPLETELY different advice to the next generation. First of all--I expect my son and daughter to be on their own, paying their own way in life, and completely autonomous before they even THINK of merging their lives with another person. They should be able to support themselves financially before they marry.

Then--when two adults are on their own and have their own place and their own things, then they can merge their things together and decide what to keep together in their shared space. There is no need for a traditional bridal registry--they already have their own things. If gifts are given, it doesn't need to be basic household goods because they are adults who have already established their own households.

And finally--two adults who would like to marry will have to decide how much money THEY want to spend on THEIR wedding. THEY plan the wedding--THEY pay for the wedding. I will enjoy being there, and I will participate in all of the sentimental events that they would like to share with me. I don't mean to sound callous--I love my son and daughter and I will be very emotional on their wedding days, but it will be THEIR days and THEIR weddings--I will just be an honored guest/mother of the bride/groom.

Tradition is out the window, in my opinion. Most "wedding traditions" can be traced back to the days of dowrys, virginal brides, and other outdated concepts. The idea of parents paying for the wedding seems very outdated to me--two mature adults who wish to marry should be able to pay for their own ceremony and party. After all, eloping or going to the courthouse can constitute the ceremony. The big, sometimes expensive reception is simply a big party--and two adults should pay for their own party!

If, by some chance, I have some extra money to give my adult children at this stage in life, I would rather give them a special gift that would help them in their future lives as married couples instead of paying for an exuberant party. Maybe even use it to spoil my future grandchildren some day. I just think it is ridiculous to see people pay SO MUCH money for a party! It's crazy! Especially if you don't have the money and go deep into debt!

So that is my opinion about 21st century weddings--none of the traditions of the past centuries really apply anymore. I was a young bride who fell for the trap--and it really can become a trap. Think "tourist trap" when you look at some of the outrageous expenses some wedding planners try to convince young couples to spend on "their special day". That is a terrible way to start a marriage--deep in debt because you just "had" to have all of the bells and whistles.

I feel the same way about funerals, too--cremation and scattering for me, please. Don't even bother trying to convince me that my loved one will RIP because they have the most expensive coffin/memorial/gravestone! Weddings and funerals--a big, expensive business--a "trap" that sometimes sends loved ones into financial ruin. Look at some of the other countries and cultures and we can see that American weddings and funerals are getting completely out of hand! They don't love their families any less just because they had a simple and inexpensive wedding/funeral! In America, we seem to be convinced that if we really love someone, then we will spend as much money as possible on them. That is why we have such a debt problem!