Oh, goody! A place where one can vent, whinge and moan. Now I have to make up reasons to use this forum as generally, I can just smile and not give a hoot. But since turning 50, others seem to be more concerned than I am about hitting a milestone so, found this and printed a few and give them out at will. The finer details are waaay down the line from 50 I say. Please indulge me:

THE CAT IN THE HAT ON AGING

I can't see
I can't pee
I can't chew
I can't s****
Oh my God, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad - can you tell?

My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my A**