"A young guy asked me one time, why do women always cut their hair in these menopausal haircuts when they get older?"

I've wondered the same thing! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a woman who had perfectly nice hair(in a cut that was flattering and worked with her hair texture)get it all cut off in one of these sexless, "no-nonsense" type of haircuts in a misguided tactic of saying that their vanity no longer matters at menopause. True, beauty is different in at various stages of life, but we are still women, even without our periods! There's a difference however between the no-nonsense cuts and an appealing short cut.
The term "age-appropriate" haircut or style of dress for that matter just makes me want to scream! As far as what is actually appropriate, that is an individual matter - some people really do look better in shorter hair, others can have long, and fortunately there are plenty of beautiful hairstyles available in all lengths - find the one that works with your hair texture, features, overall style and go with that.
Personally, I do my own color(a rich coppery brown, no generic blonde for me)and I have a haircutter that knows how to deal with naturally-curly hair - my hair skims shoulder-length at the bottom layers, and the other layers frame my face. Some drugstore gel, and scrunching, and I'm good to go! I get tons of compliments too - have referred several folks to my cutter!