I missed this one too, the first time around...lots of houseguests here then I guess. This is beautifully said, Vi.

One of my favourite therapists observed that anytime I didn't understand someone's actions or words toward me, instead of checking it out with them directly, I would "make up stories", or "take the ball and run to the wrong goalpost". He was right. I'd been subconsciously doing that all my life.

Now I try to check things out first before becoming hurt or offended. It's amazing how quick and ready I was to choose to see slights, criticisms and personal attacks where none was meant or even implied.

Like you said about shyness, you never completely get over those old habits...but hopefully, thanks to places like here, we evolve more than we relapse!