Thank you Dotsie. The suicidal thoughts were accompanied by strange out of body experiences. I could "see" myself doing things from outside my body. I was young and it was terrifying. But it made me know that something was wrong. Thankfully my doctor was a wise older guy who had another patient who had similar experiences and he took me off the steroids immediately. Soon thereafter my mind cleared. (Improved brain testing is now showing physiological basis for changes in mental outlook in some people as a result of taking steroids.)

You are so right about keeping busy. Seems to me that it's the cure for a lot of things. And helping others is beneficial, not only spiritually and mentally, but physically. It certainly seems to relieve pain.

I periodically experieince depression as a result of being in this cast, confined to the house with one leg up in the air--Oh lordy, not a pretty sight--and so inactive.
I didn't really understand what I was getting myself into. But I know this is situational and when the situation changes, so will my outlook (A little whining helps too:)).
I really believe that anti-depressants are great for clinical depression, but they have too many side effects (One of which is suicidal/homicidal thoughts) for situational depression.

I'm not kinky or anything, but I wonder if I have become too well adapted to pain. When the surgeon said he could possibly relieve my arthritis (which is not all that bad anyway), it almost felt like I was losing a friend. I know that's nuts, but it's true. Even when I was young, I figured everyone lives with some degree of pain and I just made friends with it.
In many ways it helped me. I learned early that smiling, working, and doing things for others actually relieves pain. The challenge of it inspired me in some weird way too. Only recently, it became unbearable. But it's better today and I will find my way past it. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Like you said, this is just a stage. And like about everything in life, it's temporary.

Thanks for reminding me of that. How on earth would I ever cope without this site??
smile
Now if only I can keep from gaining a hundred pounds. Dan is doing most of the cooking and he's has no concept of calories. But...