Lynn, I am so sorry for John's pain. I have been so intent on praying for his surival, I forgot to pray for his well being. I will definitely remember his pain in my prayers from now on.

I view pain as the enemy and whining reveals my weakest points. Also it draws those around you into the pain which only breaks their heart.
Not recognizing it is the best way I have found to conquer pain. If I can find something to enjoy or be excited about, I can almost always, at least for a moment, triumph over pain.
Sometimes though, especially late at night, you have to cry out and it's a great blessing to have a safe place to do it without rejection.
Also, I think everyone has a degree of pain in their life and I have so much to be thankful for that it is selfish to whine.
smile

P.S. I have had a lot of steroids and they really help. But they affect my thinking. Somehow suicide becomes such a reasonable solution, even for small problems.
A very strong friend with no previous emotional problems killed himself a couple of years ago while being treated with steroids. I am afraid of them. I would rather endure the physical pain than contend with the impaired thinking. (Most people do not have the type reaction that I, my friend, and several athletes have experienced, but it is good to be aware of them. I believe the possibility of a serious reactions incease with repeated use and since I've had one bad reaction (No attempts, but definite suicidal thoughts) I am afraid of them.)

[ January 01, 2005, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]