Kira,
Its really hard to deal with family like this isn't it.
One year my sister n' law called me with the usual and we were complaining. I fianlly just told her that we celebrate too much. We wouldn't be able to attend everything anymore and that I had a family too.
My mil cried one Easter when we didn't attend even though they told her that we were at a family wedding on my side of the family. It took that bride to tell her before she believed us.
Its hard to take a stand. I was lucky my husband agreed with me. Now that I've taken the stand everyone seems fine with what we do.
Hope this will help you. I feel a lot better now that we are sharing more.
Maggie