Ah projection, I know it well. I should email you privately and fill you in on my projector!
And I think jawjaw has the right of it in your husband feeling powerless or emasculated elsewhere and bringing his frustration home to you. As much as I believe in heart to hearts, I know that everytime I tried to work thru issues with my hubbie, he'd get defensive. I strongly recommend finding a local pastoral counseling service in your area and having a mediated heart to heart. Don't leave it too long, either.