Dotsie,
Your post was interesting and I've thought about it this week. It is true that marriage is a give and take union. I remember when I was first married, I did EVERYTHING possible for my husband,he was the focus of my everyday. When I got pregnant I was so thrilled -- I wrote poetry and baked him everything and gave him cards. He was military and always gone. I kept busy raising the kids and keeping the house and working for family support organization.

He was busy...always doing things for himself...going to craft shop...having to run in to work to take care of matters that arose between the troops. One day, I just decided that our marriage was ONE SIDED. I was the only one that was giving extra. He was just there and supplying money for our life. But, I loved him and life went on.

Over the years, our kids grew up, we've been there for each other through thick and thin. I realize that he did love me and care, but he was just a man of little words. A man dedicated to his work.

I guess we are both going through MIDDLE LIFE CRISIS, because he's become more loving and caring and I've become more dependant. I have been taking time for myself. Improving my body and mind and doing my writing (which I'd always put on hold to support him and raise the kids). He seems a bit sad sometimes, but as I told him, I was there for 27 years, ignoring myself and doing for them. Now I am approaching the last 50 years of my life and I need to focus my attention to me. I am still there for my kids and my husband, but I am also for the first time, there for me.

I hope this makes sense. I love my family very much, but I am starting to really get to know me too.