Last night I did something incredibly selfish, terrible, mean, and cruel and now I need to make amends.
Last night I was really exhausted and my husband had a massive panic attack. I did not wake up. He said I told him where the xanax was and had three conversations with him, but kept falling back to sleep. I remeber one of the conversations, but thought it was a dream. I left him all alone. When you have these attacks you feel like you're going to die. He thought he was going to die and I couldn't even stay awake! Tears are flowing as I write this. I've apologizes all morning, crying, and telling him I didn't mean to and that I am so ashamed for what I've done. I don't know what else to do. I know that all, or most, of you are going to say, give him time, you are only human, don't be so hard on yourslef. But this is bad. This was really bad of me. I should have been able to be there for him. There is no excuse. Now he feels like I don't care or don't think he is important enough to even get out of bed when he thinks he's dieing. I just don't know what to do to make him believe it again.