Hi Di,
I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I too am a "different" step-grandmother who never had children of her own, so can relate to some of the things you've posted in the past.

My granddaughter is five now. She calls me Sharon, because when she was born, none of us knew what to call me. But when my granddaughter one day referred to her other grandmothers as her "other Sharons", I knew that a grandmother by any other name is still a grandmother to a little girl.

My GD knows that I'm not her blood grandmother. But she DOES know that I'm her HEART grandmother. We're very close, immeasurably in love with each other, and very significant in each other's lives. Maybe it's precisely because we're NOT blood-related - we don't have all that expectational family baggage to worry about, we can simply be the kindred spirits that we are and thoroughly enjoy each other.

I waited for many years to see if her other grandmothers would start a Christmas decoration "thing" with her, but realized this past Christmas that they don't seem interested in starting that particular tradition. So I got on eBay, scoured the site and managed to get "perfect" tree ornaments for each year since her birth, including a beautiful one for 2000...she was born Dec 28th, so the ornament for Christmas 2000 is a little silver ball that opens to reveal some tiny baby girl things - with a note about how 2000 was the Christmas that we were waiting for her, and that our Christmas wasn't complete until she arrived.

I haven't given her the ornaments yet (I started searching too late), but will give those first six to her at Advent of this year, and then continue to give her a special ornament every year, hopefully one that ties in with some event or activity that represents the past year (I'm looking for a piano for this year, because she's just started to play with two hands and is very proud of herself!)

Anyway, those half-birthdays are a great idea. We thought of doing that, but since we often take her shopping throughout the year, decided to call all of those gifts her "unbirthday" gifts, to make up for having to wait all year for both her birthday and Christmas. She understands and LOVES to go shopping for those unbirthday things.

Dare to be different. Build a special niche in her life. I simply loved my GD, no strings attached, and didn't have to force the relationship in any way...we've just somehow been best friends since the day she was born.

[ May 17, 2006, 09:34 AM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]