Dotsie - you mention that your friend gets the leftovers.

Sometimes that's not such a bad thing. I dont know your friends situation, but maybe if she looked at it from a different angle ???

Sometimes people are with the "ones that come to town" under an "obligation" of some sort. Or maybe they feel they HAVE TO be with them. When the kids come to visit your friend -- could it be because they really WANT to be with them ??

Sometimes - quality really is better than quantity ;-)