I guess now I can comment on this since I have an official daughter-in-law now

My daughter-in-law talks to her mother daily I'm sure - eventhough they live states away from each other - but if I want to know what's going on with my son - I have to call - eventhough I live in the same town -- and even then I don't speak to him usually -- but to my D-I-L -- as he really hates "chit-chatting" on the phone.

Daughters just naturally stay closer to their moms than sons do. A daughter may grow into a woman but she'll always be her mommy's little girl. A son, on the other hand, grows into a man. Period. No more mommy's little boy.

besides -- son's don't need their mommy's as much once they marry -- they have their WIVES to take our places

Women do communicate more than men. We want to share all our thoughts with other women -- case in point -- THIS FORUM. We don't see this type of forum for MEN anywhere do we ????

But I also think we mothers have to take some of the responsibility for the situation. Not that I'm the perfect person here -- but I try not to be my son's mother around his wife. He belongs to HER now -- just like I try not to be a pushy grandma -- I raised my child and now they have to raise theirs -- and I feel it's no longer my place to tell them how to either live their marriage or to raise their child. Ohhhhh - I have to bite my tongue alot but I think that's one reason I get along so well with my D-I-L -- I'm no threat to her as a wife or as a mother. She knows I love her and I am here for them if they need me and I have just accepted the fact that I will never be as much a part of their life as her family will be.

I agree with Dotsie that you need to discuss this with your son and his wife. Lay your feelings out on the table -- and ask them to please respect those feelings as much as they can -- just as you promise to respect their feelings on the matter as best you can. Go into the discussion as one person to another -- a business agreement as such -- because if you go into it with a hurtful, resentful attitude -- it will come across as "all you" -- she'll get defensive -- he'll be put in the position of having to take sides -- and the point will be completely lost.