you obviously don't know my son

if he lived here in my home with me I wouldn't see him but once a month that's just my baby -- he's been on his own since he was 16 yrs old and been independent since he was born -- ohhhh believe me -- I guilt beat him every once and awhile but I really don't want him to be anyway but who he is. I finally got him (hmmmmm lets think about this -- nooooo --- his LADY finally got him to remember holidays ) so I guess I can't ask too much more than that --

That's not what my post was really about though --

this isn't THEIR problem -- there isn't anything to "work out" -- they are wonderful kids and they are wonderful parents and if I had to "turn over" my son and grandbaby to anyone in the world -- I couldn't have picked a better family to turn him over to and ---except for them moving away soon --I know I'm welcome to go over and visit my grandbaby anytime I want -- and I totally understand why they don't come over to see me (eventhough I would trade my poms for my grandbaby in a second) -- this is MY emotional battle -- alot of it steming from me still missing my other son terribly -- it's about ME learning to let go. I tend to do things 110% --and I have to learn how to accept that I can't be 110% part of their life -- I just don't know how to do that yet -- that's why I said that "rejection" isn't the right word (in my case) -- I just could relate to the EMOTION inside.

I would pack up and follow them in a heart beat --just to have a chance to be a part of their life -- to not have to be a "phone-call, pictures grandma" -- to try and be part of Thanksgiving and Christmas -- but my husband doesn't want to move from a town he's comfortable with -- leave a job he's making head way at finally -- leave my parents who are in their 80's -- to move somewhere and still know I'm not the "go to" grandma -- I'm the "other" grandma .

I was always with MY mom when my kids were young -- and as they grew up and grew away from Grandma and Grandpa -- like your kids are doing -- I still stayed close to my mom -- so it wasn't the boys that went to grandma's -- it was ME who went to grandma's and I understand that completely. I understand ALL OF IT completely --

I just haven't gotten my heart to catch up with my head yet