Dotsie, Kaile graduates in a little over a week and heads to college in the fall.

About three weeks ago my husband came to me and said that he had been feeling continually uneasy about Kaile's choice of school in Indiana and he did not feel that it was the school she should be going to and he felt that her motives were based on some very "teenager-ish" ideas than God's will for her life. He also had some concerns over some of the religious "formalities" that the church which sponsors the school believes in. It is not a mainstream religion. He said that he felt led as her father to pray more about this and then get some things to Kaile. After much and by much I mean weeks of research my husband outlined a spreadsheet with a list of six Christian Colleges/Universities in-state that would offer more scholarships/grants and a better fit of a pre-med program that would offer Kaile more success in her chosen profession as well as more opportunity for mission-focus activities.

Needless to say this did not go over very well. And Kaile's attitude was wrong, as most 18 year olds attitudes are, when their "logic" is challenged.

Mike told Kaile that in order for us to help her financially - that she would have to at least apply and visit two of the schools on the list, one his pick and one her pick.

The school Mike picked is phenomenal and when I sat down and read the information he compiled I was just overwhelmed with grief, knowing that he was right - it was the right fit for Kaile as far as atmosphere that would suit her personality and style of worship/faith and program wise. It hit me how much her life will be impacted by NOT choosing this school over the school she was choosing.

It is a tough stage to parent, because you want your child to make responsible decisions considering everything involved. You want them to realize that even as "adults" we seek the advice of friends and family we trust and we make decisions based upon a multitude of factors.

Kaile has referred often to that God will provide for her, and when she says this I keep telling her that He already has provided for her at 100% of the cost of several schools in state, but she is not seeing it, and keeps thinking that somewhere an additional $12,000/year is going to show up.

I am reminded of the Dog of Aesop, who held a bone in its mouth but wanted the bone that he saw reflecting in the water because he thought it was better, and when he lunged forward to get "the bone" he then realized that what it was he wanted, he had all along and now he lost what he had and had nothing.

Mike and I are really torn about this. We would hate to see Kaile start off her life with $20,000+ of debt, that level of debt could seriously cause conflicts in a marriage of twenty-somethings, and would take over 10 years to repay, and honestly is NOT for something that is necessary, as she has other avenues that are paid in full. At the same time, we do not feel that it would be good stewardship of our resources to get into debt for this college that no one, but Kaile, feels she is being led to, when the money is available in cash to pay the expenses that are almost $10,000 per year LESS at a better Christian university more suited to the spiritual/relational/educational needs and goals of Kaile and not just her desires based on some rather faulty motives.


Mike's dad summed up our collective prayers - For God to either Change Kaile's heart or change all of ours.

Jeremiah 29:11