Oh dear that IS a problem. I feel for your son and my guess is he knows, somehow, especially if he is a sensitive guy.

Is your Mom approachable at all regarding this issue? I think I would have to tell her with a loving spirit that, "Mom, you are so loved, and SON (whatever his name is) loves this person and you are hurting him by your actions."

Would this work? Or would she explode? I wish I had better advice, but you might also remind her that YOU were once considered an "outsider" in our husbands family and the results were many years of alienation and hurt feelings.

Let us know how it goes. I would hate to see your son forced to make a decision based on HER feelings alone. This doesn't seem fair. I truly believe in honoring our parents, but I don't believe in dishonoring someone because of their ethnic background. I wish you the best with it all!

JJ