Thanks for the countdown Eagle Heart, I was beginning to think I was counting alone....

For some reason Christmas besides being joyous for the most part, is also meloncoly for me, I fine myself tearing up for no reason and I think I finally figured out why. I am fortunate enough that Mom is still alive but she's several thousand miles away....In a bit of a funk last night, I lit the Christmas lights and put on my snuggly robe and slippers and sat down to read a book. I was mesmerized by this book and it took me to places in my mind and in my lost childhood buried deep that I barely remembered. I laughed, and cried at the things I read about the life of this incredible woman. Her book brought to the surface for me why I felt all the saddness around the holidays. I was fortunate enough to enjoy a blessed life growing up surrounded by family. My Grandfather and Grandmother on Moms side were my rocks. I loved and respected my Grandma so much and she was definitely the Matriarch, everything revolved around this woman with her countless talents. In a nut shell, I miss my life, the one I once had. while growing up. Now is a lonier time for me, one that feels like I'm just marking time until the end. Eagle Heart the book I was reading was your book; Eagle Born To Fly...When I read the part about the dream of the happy little 5 year old girl with you and then her terrible end, being hit by those two cars and killed. I thought that subconsciously the first car represented your Mother and the second car, your Father. Your Mother for the hurtful things she said, like being blindsided and then your Fathers spanking you instead of holding and loving you. All in all I read and read until it was the end of the book. My goodness, we never know where answers to some of our own life mysterys will be discovered. I believe your book has shed some light on some of mine and for that 'Thank You.' This is a wonderful read for anyone experiencing depression and even for those not understanding what they are experiencing. I am so truly happy that your friend Kate refused to give up on her intuition and you are here wih us now and I have the priviledge of calling you friend and learnig from you...

[ December 03, 2005, 08:53 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]