Nancy, my heart aches with you...all of the "firsts" are the worst! Our first Christmas without Mom was dismal, despite our best efforts to keep ourselves from falling apart...there was such a gaping hole. It was probably hardest on my youngest brother, so I tried to compensate for the void by buying lots of gifts to give out throughout the day...stockings in the morning, tree gifts mid-day, surprise gifts in the late afternoon and even some "taking home" gifts. It did brighten up the day somewhat, because it was something Mom would probably have tried to do in the same circumstances!

It's easier now, except that we're still weaning ourselves off the multiple gift thing that I started that year!!! Everyone enjoyed it so much that the next year they started giving surprise gifts throughout the day too! It's been a fun new tradition, but too expensive to continue.

Anyway, I know what it feels like to just want to fast-forward the calendar. I still feel that way even this year. Mom was such a Christmas person, it's still difficult to find our way through the emptiness at the core of our hearts and gatherings. I'll be thinking of you throughout this season, and especially Christmas Day...when my heart gets sad, it helps to have someone else's sad heart to focus on...I'll be sending you prayers, care and warm nudges to help you through the day.

[ December 03, 2005, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]