Thanks, jaw-jaw. I appreciate your response.

I lost my husband to colon cancer after a 5 year battle, and after watching it, I swore that if I ever got that terrible news we got that day regarding myself, I would take what I had left in time and do quality things, not spend time being sick from chemo and radiation.

My Mom died from organ failure after years of issues from congestive heart failure and it was a slow but painless death. My husband was not so lucky--it was a horrible, messy death and he fought all the way until the last second. He did not want to die. My Mom was ready and went rather peacefully--we had taken her off of all meds that would at that point prolong the dying process instead of lengthening life. She was not in any pain at all--wasn't even taking aspirin at that point--and just stopped breathing in the middle of the night after a small gasp. My father heard the gasp over the intercom we had installed and went in to find her gone.

Tim (my husband) was on three kinds of IV (one in his neck, one in his arm and one in his back) pain meds, was getting liquid haldol syrup dripped onto his lips every fifteen minutes and still was in extreme pain and fighting the end. We (his brothers, his sister and I all at the same time)were physically holding him in bed the entire last 6 hours of his life. I can honestly tell you that we are better to our animals than we are to ourselves. I know if it were I, I would have wanted to be put out of my misery. So, I can understand how my father feels, but I am on the other side of the issue and am just not ready to be a total orphan. I know that sounds selfish, but I just don't want to face losing what is left of my family.

I guess this being a grown-up just isn't what we were prepared for, huh? As middle-income boomers, we were shown a life of ease and comfort. I don't even remember anyone dying before my grandmother when I was 12, and then the next one I remember was my high-school class sponsor when we were in our junior year, and he rammed his car into a tree. Life was slow and easy and the most important thing was whether we had accessories to match our clothing. I want that time back....I am not really comfortable in today's lifestyle. All of the things that we took for granted have been out-dated, out-voted, and out-lawed in some way, shape or form. It's a real shame...and I can't even imagine what the three-prongers are going to have to face as we move into the next plane and they have to be the grown-ups.