Speakermom I see so many married couples who spend way much more than they earn. They take expensive vacations, have a new car every two or three years buy bigger and bigger houses with huge utility bills to match, wear designer clothes and then say to me, "I have to work." From where I sit I'm thinking to myself, no you don't, if you'd spend your money more realistically and not have every extravagance. I made sure when my kids were small that their lives were not filled with a schedule that would frustrate an adult. My kids went out and played like I did when I was little.
When we went to a band meeting in my daughter's 8th grade it amazed me to hear the music teacher and principal extolling the virtues of parents running mad to band practise, soccer, softball, etc,. etc. They said, "we did it and you can too." Sorry but running around every night after school to meet these schedules was not my idea of a healthy environment for children.

When I'd pick my kids up after school they'd look sadly at the other kids being herded to the after school program. My son said to me, "I'm glad you didn't do that to me." He was only in the fourth grade when he said it.

My daughter played the flute in band and took dance classes from second grade to seventh grade. When she told me "no more" we didn't force her to continue. She has a 4.72 GPA and is the second highest student in her senior class of 277 students. She also received a college scholarship. I'm very proud of both of my children. I wouldn't do any of it differently.

If a parent must do it (and single women surely do) I am hoping they are doing it for the right reasons and not for material excess. I believe a child needs us more than designer clothes and every new gadget that comes on the market.