This is my area. I have been working for 30 years. My first job was at 15.
When I had to balance a career and family is when the ____ hit the fan. Everyone is right, some things must fall of the plate. My first was house work. I straighten (because everyone in my house is messy and loves it that way), and tend to sanitary cleanliness. You can always find dust, dust balls etc. floating around my house but I learned that my families happiness does not depend on it.
We all love the outdoors so we do keep a nice yard. But that is our form of therapy and being together.

My car is never cleaned unless it is a hot evening and squirting the kid sounds like fun.

My career has changed into my job. Probably one of the most difficult transitions to make. The expectation of my workplace is that work comes first but all those executive men have wives who do not work outside the home and they have dinner warming in the oven when they get home at night. I have a 4 year old who has eating every snack in the house unless I get there and fix something decent.

After a couple of years of setbacks, the most important thing in life is the people you love and those who love you. It is imperative that we live life instead of making a living.

I believe in your case, your work is now more than a job it is an extension of yourself and an expression of who you are at this stage of your life. In that case, my advice is to create a boss. The could be your work self. Your bos sets expectations and you work to meet them. A to do list for the week helps to keep in focus the priorities you need to meet. So maybe instead of stopping work to hang out in the kitchen with the kids having a snack after school, you complete two more priorities so that you can give the kids a larger block of time tomorrow, this evening or a planned long week-end. Use the working at home to your advantage but giving yourself rewards that traditional work environments can't do.

I could go on forever aboiut this subject. Just rember to be disciplined but above all keep the balance between yourself, work and family. It is a triangle that when managed can be successful. Good luck!