Julie,
When I was born, my older sister was dying from leukemia. She lived two more years. During that time, I was surrounded by turmoil and deep sadness. Is it any wonder that I developed dysthymia? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make my parents happy.

About 15 years ago, I had the revelation that it was never my job to make them (or anybody else) happy. I was just a little girl trying to make some sense out of the sadness that surrounded me. And, as you might expect, I've spent the last 15 years understanding why I try to fix everything and everybody and, more importantly, changing my behavior patterns when I recognize that I'm heading down that slippery slope. I agree with you --- relationships change whether we're responsible for the change or not. The trick is to recognize when they're still good for us and when they're not.