Not sure where to put this - but I have had the sudden revelation that I am not to blame for various changes in friendship patterns, family relationships...etc... for a long time I have been self-examining trying to work out what I have done to cause problems...the answer is NOTHING. Life is just like that. Full of change.
And suddenly I also realise that as a small child I internalised the difficulties my parents had with money being tight, step-children/parents, a cramped house, etc...taking it on my own little shoulders... well now that burden has fallen away...