Thanks to all of my cyberfriends for your words of wisdom.

You know, of course, that my friend has contacted me several times since our falling out. We talked yesterday but didn't get into a discussion about the future of our relationship. I'm not going to suggest that we never see each other again -- our paths cross too often -- but I am going to distance myself and eliminate the one-on-one times.

Her daughter, who is my older daughter's best friend, spent the night at our house on Saturday and then, the two went shopping all day on Sunday. To answer your question, Dotsie, both of my daughters are very good friends with her daughters but all 4 girls are teenagers now and can maintain their friendships without their mothers.

I don't want to belittle the seriousness of my friend's crises.

Here is just a sample of what's happened to her family since I met her --

Her brother died from a drug overdose, her father-in-law died, my friend almost died from a brain injury, her father had by-pass surgery, her husband had major surgery, her parents were in a car accident. her older daughter was in the ER twice (one of those times, I spent the night there with them), her younger daughter was in the ER, and my friend had major surgery.

Since I met her, my father died unexpectantly, my mother had 2 major surgeries and was in the hospital for chemo, I supervised the sale of my mother's house (which she'd owned since 1965 -- you can imagine the amount of stuff that was in it), and I moved my mother into independent living and then into assisted-living.

Through all of these life changes, we have been there to support and help each other. And yet, I'm still left with a feeling of frustration because often I hear about my friend's troubles after the fact or, even worse, I don't talk with her for a few days and then, I call and ask "what's new?" and I'm told that she's "hanging tough" and doesn't want to talk about it. So, do I "play the game" and push until she shares with me or, do I accept the wall that's gone up between us and feel frustrated? Sigh.

Doctor, it hurts when I do this.
Well ... don't do that!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.